Ive just made this tumblr because one night while i should have been writing an essay i was contemplating if it would be possible to follow every single person on tumblr. wow. thats a lot of people. will it be possible? im gonna find out. please reblog this and spread the word.
if i see a plus next to your name i will click it no questions asked. please help me on my journey.
I am currently struggling with how to forgive and forget. In the past year, I have been hurt both physically and emotionally by someone who was supposed to love me entirely. Even throughout my pregnancy, my husband has put his feelings and desires ahead of mine, and I feel tired and used.
I do not know how to let all of that go. I would like to think of myself as a decent person; I have my own set of beliefs, and they are all based on the idea that everyone deserves love and understanding, regardless of what they have done and who they are.
However, with so much resentment, I am finding it hard to make my beliefs and my feelings mesh. Things between he and I are not perfect; I have previous posts about how I am dealing with all of that, but how do you deal with the trespasses against you? How do you accept apologies for scenarios that arose out of complete selfishness? How do you stay positive in light of all the things that have already happened?
My interest in blogging was waning for a while—I over committed myself when I had too much going on already. What makes this time any different? Well, for one, I legitimately have little else better to do. And, two, I really need an outlet for both artistic and bitch-tistic reasons.
I finally moved back to Hawaii. I was under the impression things with my husband had finally changed and that I would not be living a miserable and lonely life. It has now been about 4 months, and I am sad to say the realization has hit me that the only way to actually be happy with him is to ignore his short comings and focus on myself.
I can’t seem to fix the fact that he doesn’t want to have sex with me, or that he has a temper that is only aggravated by his extreme passion for video games that make him rage. He also suffers from an extreme disappointment of self, which is easily irritated by my continued disappointment in our sex life, and persistent nagging about house chores as I become increasingly more pregnant.
The only solution, here, is to distract myself from my unhappiness and to keep my mouth shut when I have nothing nice to say… Sadly, this solution is only a half-fix. He still gets angry, still gets depressed, still gets irritable and agitated and takes it out on me… It does not truly solve any of the problems, it is just like putting a band aid on a head wound. Temporary, and not enough.
I am, however, looking forward to my little squishy face. Gabriel Richard Sutton will be the light in my very dark and lonely world, and he deserves every bit of hope and faith and love I have to offer him.
Am I crazy, going out of my mind with grief, for absolutely no reason? I went to my ultrasound, today. I am 19 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and just found out I am having a beautiful baby boy, for whom everything seems to be in good working order. And he’s hung.
I should be joyous, bragging to everyone… But the one thing plaguing my mind is what that doctor said about my weight. Everyone swears I’m underweight… But all things considering, I’d say I’ve been at a pretty healthy weight since puberty. I’m just short of 5 foot 4, and generally weigh about 92-96 pounds. I’m sure that sounds tiny, but unhealthy? Underweight? I ate regularly, never had hormone imbalances, never was told my thin state was anything other than acceptable… UNTIL RECENTLY.
I’ve been to doctors my entire life, for a condition called Limited Scleroderma(look it up, future post coming). Now, why in fuck’s sake would a doctor not tell me if I were too thin, too unhealthy, too malnourished? Wouldn’t something show in the hundreds of blood tests I’ve had?
Obviously, I’ve not changed. Doctors’ policies, however, have. Because the world’s diets and lifestyles have made the world into fat fucking pigs and skinny disgusting bitches, I obviously have to be grouped into one category. Fuck you, society. I am fine how I am.
Needless to say, my day is not quite over… But this woman TOPS the charts for now.
Scenario: Mother and I driving. Girl pulls out in front of us. Girl begins braking repeatedly in the smooth flow of the traffic. We see her on her phone, the entire time… TEXTING! It must have been a long ass text cause this proceeded for the next few minutes. Finally Mom gets a break in the passing lane and I notice her window is open. I open my window and put on my crazy face…
My husband and I are avid gamers, and he recently purchased Skyrim. I was never a follower of the Elder Scrolls series, but the graphics are fantastic.
Lately, I’ve been getting a kick out of some of the user-created mods to the game. Some GENIUS applied a fix to the snow in the game, making the flakes resemble the troll face. Is that not fantastic? In addition, there are mods that allow your characters to run around naked, and even mods that change the town guards’ logo into MY LITTLE PONY images. Amazing.
Seriously every other character has so many skins and is always getting new ones, yet leblanc has shit all, and they aren’t even that good!
I’m learning to main Morgana now but i don’t really like her skins either lol..
Blanc already has OP burst, inbuilt flash and a hugely annoying passive. FUCK GIVING HER SKINS SHE DOESN’T DESERVE IT.
I’m just sincerely concerned that this person thinks the Morgana skins suck, as well. Morg has one skin that has the brightest aura in the game, and it’s fucking RED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! And who doesn’t want to look like you just burnt a fuck ton of cookies? Two skins, with two pretty neat features. I think this retard needs to stop fondling himself over his AP carries and realize LeBlanc is faceroll and Morgana is a damage-heavy support.
Somewhere along the line, I found out about this awesome world of video games. It started with Pokemon on the Gameboy, then trading cards, then The Sims and Starcraft… I could go on and on and list the countless things I’ve played, but it’s safe to say I’ve played a little bit on every platform and fell in love with PC gaming.
However, I didn’t just want to be any old gamer. It may make me a throwback from the Pokemon days, but I just wanted to be the very best. I’d never go so far as to say I’ve reached that standard, but I would like to say a few words to my fellow female gamers in the community… What the FUCK are you wearing, and why the hell do you SUCK so much?
Where is it written and mandated that because girls are girls, nobody holds them to the same standards as our male counterparts. I’d love to see an all women’s League of Legends tournament. I certainly couldn’t be in it, though; I don’t know a single other female in game that plays as diverse a selection as myself, or who knows how to communicate and work with the team while not feeding.
I will renew my vows today… “I want to be the very best, like no one ever was.”
If a crush is a matter of physical attraction, I’d have to say I’m limited to really refined black men like Tae Diggs, or really good looking older men like Richard Geere, and Gerard Butler.
As far as romantic attraction goes, the one guy who really revs my engines is my husband. He has these intense green eyes that undress you in a single look, but they’re shaded in a melancholy mix of grey, brown, and blue. His shoulders are speckled in freckles from the sun, and his skin is softer than any man’s I’ve ever touched. The smooth touch of his hand, the brush of his 5 o’clock shadow… Being with that man is more than I could ever dream of.